Not Actually My Rainbow Princess Diary With a Heart-Shaped Locket

I do feel this post should be, like me, filed under the "Smart but Special" tag.

2009-12-26T06:48:48Z

So, in the process of Te's post on why no amount of shiny whiz-bang CGI can hide that big nasty white appropriation/racism shitstain on the screen (CODA: I am now totally using Moff's Law in the future as a response to "“Why can’t you just watch the movie for what it is?"), there was a nice little discussion on the racism/religious privilege of romance novels, including this awesome comment from buggery.

They range from boring ("Four Calling Birds" is four different wives having a private night with their respective husbands) to the bizarre ("Eleven Pipers Piping" involves a woman who has slept with 10 of the 11 Piper brothers, and just now happens to be on her last. Yes, "piping" may just stand for "PIV sexxors").

Possibly the most curious (that is "please do not let this be what I think it is") is "Eight Maids A Milking," filed under Lesbian but focusing on widow Annie and Indian chef Sanj, who is "a bit mysterious, a research scientist turned baker, who talks about the customs of India while he teaches his baking classes. He is also spiritual and sensual." So, besides the possible broad-brush racial stereotyping, there must be lesbianism. When one of the characters is identified as a man. I am...not sure what to think.

Nothing, however, can beat "Six Geese A Laying."

arionhunter: Man, you know you've got it bad when you want to buy a Ravenous Romance short story just to find out if it really is goose bestiality.
brownbetty: aaaaaaaudsfahsffkj
arionhunter: THE DESCRIPTION IS MADDENINGLY VAGUE
"After several months overseas, Stacia is ecstatic to return home for Christmas. It’s been too long since she’s seen her boyfriend, Luke and she longs to be in his arms again. She even has a seductive and sexy “present” planned for their first night together.

With arrangements to celebrate the holidays with Luke’s family, Stacia soon discovers her plans are going to be quite difficult to carry out. Her first night back is spent getting to know his beloved pet geese. It seems as though their night of passion will have to wait — until, that is, she discovers Luke has plans of his own.

Stacia soon finds herself following the mysterious trail of presents Luke has left her: Christmas-wrapped goose eggs, each one with a clue that will lead her to the next. . . and, ultimately, to a night she’ll never forget!"
TELL ME THAT IS NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE
brownbetty: uh.
I don't know what that sounds like.
arionhunter: Neither do I, but there is a goose uncomfortably close to the hot sexxors part of this equation

View Poll: A Question You Will Likely Never Be Asked Again

Re: Shinkenger 37

2009-12-26T04:15:56Z

I am mainlining my backlog of Shinkenger and it is glorious. Each episode post-Ushi origami arc has been great, though I reserve judgment about Samurai Ha-Oh. I know it's very obviously meant to invoke Buddhist iconography, but...eh. It's got so much crap on its chest it can't do the Victory clap. This fact annoys me immensely, for some reason.

However, I can ignore this because I just finished 37, which is nothing but glorious slash bait for a pairing with, at best, minimal chemistry. The Death Note-esque chaining setup! The restroom scene! Dialog like: "Will you please try to match me? My hands can't keep up with yours. So...you will need to lower yourself to my level to be in synch." "But Chiaki, you should be the one to shout the orders. I don't have a free imagination like yours." The bit at the end where Mako And Kotoha give each other sneaky shippy fangirl eyes!

<3

I need a 铠甲勇士 icon for Chinese media posts.

2009-11-23T15:54:40Z

In past news: Major American media conglomerates (Disney, Fox) have begun entering foreign markets where they have less of a foothold and fund/make localized products with native companies, instead/alongside of the traditional "pump and dump"-ing of American media products. See the Japanese version of Sideways, Fox opening a Korean branch, Disney making animated films based on local Chinese/Russian fables.

And now, a Chinese version of High School Musical. Zhang Jun Ning is starring, alongside some of the guys from BOBO, apparently.

If nothing else, this'll certainly be...interesting.

Other stuff:

- Neat DanweiTV report interviewing organizers of the Beijing Queer Film Festival.
- I am going to regret starting The Prisoner, aren't I? I know what TV show I'm going to obsessively watch and finish at work during the wee hours of the morning!
- Top 10 Bad Messages From Good Movies. I especially love 2 and 3.

它又切又砍，然后做薯条！

2009-11-15T13:31:39Z

This attitude of brazenly encouraging learned technological helplessness is exactly why I do not and never will trust Apple. They may make an aesthetic product, but if I can't open said pretty box up without fucking myself over for all eternity, then I don't want it.

Other bits from catching up on my NYT/NPR/etc. backlog:
- Marry me, Gail Collins? I clean up after myself and I make a mean curry!
- Review of Sarah Palin's book, "Going Rogue". I can only hope someone does a reading to equal those of Joe the Plumber's and Carrie Prejean's "biographies."
- Fun collection of Ramen-related memories.
- Famous authors read the funnies, via Roger Ebert. Garfield via James Joyce has a surreal quality, being so awkwardly true to its source material.

EONUS: A surreal moment, courtesy of Mississippi's gambling interests. Sorry, casinos, but the only thing I really want to know about Troy King is if he's really yet another conservative republican homophobe hypocrite.

Kittens!

2009-11-02T12:38:00Z

Given I'm ignoring the fact I had my first "I am gibbering and losing motor control" panic attack in a year and a half last night, I feel it is time for me + kittens.

This is Sora, doing one of her favorite activities, attacking my foot. Sadly, she is not mine, but she is adorable.

Shoulder rides! I then walked around with her on my back, slowly letting her down.

Itsa kitty!

G-W.org Issues

2009-10-28T11:52:51Z

Got asked to signalboost this, so posting:

"As you might know, lately Girl-Wonder.org has been plagued by malware, the source of which is as yet unknown. After valiant effort at piecemeal destruction, the webmistress finally resorted to asteroid bombardment, and the destruction resulting is pretty extensive.

If any of you are experienced in civicrm, and could lend Betty a hand in putting everything back together, that would be excellent of you. Please contact her at sturdyandserviceable AT gmail.com

If you have as much idea of civicrm as I do (which is, it starts with a c) it would be great if you could signalboost this call for help."

Free Stuff

2009-10-10T21:04:47Z

All will be sent for free, and there may be more added the longer I clean/arrange my apartment.

Comics:
Birds of Prey #105, 109, 144
Venus Wars II #1-5, 7, 9
Ultraman Tiga #3 (no cover)
Legend of Mother Sarah: City of Angels #4

CD:
Watashi Wa, "Eager Seas"

Books: See BookMooch list.

Anime Weekend Atlanta

2009-10-08T05:41:24Z

One of the things I love about my stress management tactics my ability to continuously create absolutely asinine projects that will please only me in utterly pointless ways. In example, stress means lots of making myself 9 p.m. cocktails and thinking thoughts like, "Hmm, Amp and Everclear. The hangover would be beautiful. And vomitous."

(I will be trying this Lethal Electroshock Injection Friday night, because I am really curious.)

This year I didn’t actually do a very large amount In terms of panel and video room attendance. But instead I got to hang out with a lot more people, and that made the panels I did attend much better.

As always, the hentai room was a must on Friday – the local they get to moderate is highly experienced and personable, and the whole atmosphere is very conducive for ensuring fun is had by all. It helps that the moderator’s taste runs toward the “Consensual sex is fun, let’s have lots of it in a very silly manner!” end of the hentai spectrum. This year’s choice was animated (instead of live action) Ogenki Clinic – less ejaculating on crucifixes, but more psychic sex battles with the Doctor’s talking mustachioed bespectacled penis. A fair trade-off, I think.

Saturday started with the weekend toku block, which is inevitably every year the same ten people huddling together in a room being terribly geeky and fannish at each other. Otherwise there was lots of sitting around and hanging out Saturday, and then seeing about five hours of absolutely horrid anime. In order: Najica Blitz Tactics, Aria Zero, To Aro Some Shit Whatever It’s a Bad Harem Anime, To Love Ru, and the cherry…Queen’s Blade.

Aria Zero was a surprise highlight – the hallmark of its quality being that by the end of Episode 1, we’d counted 213 pantyshots. Aria Zero also has the honor of being the first anime I can say has animated, well, the relaxing of the rectum. This can be explained in context, but the context would only make it worse.

Again repeating last year’s pattern, Saturday’s “Erotic Art Auction” and hentai showing was far less impressive. They ran at least 45 minutes behind, subjected us to thirty minutes of no one bidding on very average porn prints (really, where exactly are you going to hang that $60 framed bondage elf lineart?) and very bad hentai choices. Professor Pain was nearly unbearable – BDSM fetish porn with much unnecessary misogyny and even more unnecessary pseudo-pretentious philosophical and emotional bullshit. Darling helped cleanse the palate a bit, but by then (2:30 a.m.) I was in the mood to sleep.

(Darling also led to the room-wide Hyper Erection Mode dance. Again, this can only be explained in context, and it does not make a whole hell of a lot of sense then. It is, however, absolutely hilarious.)

In the realm of free shit, there wasn’t too much this year. Since the parents are coming in Novermber, I was on the lookout for free posters to cover up my Gay Pride posters. Funimation did have two Spice and Wolf mini-posters, which was nice. Except for the part where the only vertically aligned poster they had was a quite naked Horo…which would probably only make things more awkward.

In the realm of “I wish this was parody”:

Yes, that’s a real flier they really had at the con. I wish I could make this shit up.

But since cons are really about stimulating the economy, I did spend money. I’m normally conservative (anything over $25 total in the dealer’s room has to be justified), but since this year was my last at AWA I saved up and let myself splurge, dropping about $80 in total. However, subtracting my one large purchase ($24), I got quite a bit for $60.

I’m actually rather proud of how well I managed. I budget shop at cons – I never pay full price for an item unless I absolutely have to, or won’t be able to get it elsewhere. It baffles me that people will pay store price for manga available at major booksellers, but cons are like that. They’re a money black hole.

The Haul:
- Manga:
* Astro Boy Vols. 17-19
*Eagle Vols: 6, 8, 9
* Beck Vol. 1
* Utena Vol. 1
* Two random issues of 风云, which merely go to prove that I really can’t read traditional hanzi.
* Full sets of Venus Wars II,Legend of Mother Sarah, and its “sequel” City of Angels, all of which were from the era when Viz printed everything in pamphlets and thus never got TPBs.
*Three volumes of the out-of-print and fairly hard to find The Wonderful World of Sazae-San. Sazae-San is a real treasure, and a great window into post-WWII Japan.

- Misc:
* My-Hime Hime mark keychain
* Guncannon Keychain
* Hibiki symbol decal. I am still debating if this will go on my car or not.

Figures:
Everything in this shot but GaoKing (Wal-Mart clearance), Zanki (bought from HLJ on clearance), Computa, and Darth Potato Vader are AWA purchases. The figures on the left are Wind, Cloud, Conquer, and Nameless from 风云 - I think I scared the guy selling them by the mere fact I recognized the series rather...enthusiastically.

And as alluded to earlier, the only large purchase was a 10-inch soft vinyl Hibiki statue. It’s not, say, the $200 high-grade Medicom figure I had my eye on for years, but the price was right and it was Hibiki something at a con, so I felt obligated to get it.

The rest of the figures are various con and clearance purchases over the years. Mandarin Spawn is an especial favorite of mine – it’s absolutely gorgeous up close.

The Crossover from Hell.

2009-09-18T03:05:28Z

A moment of fandom crossover horror, brought to you by Hulu.

What Edward Cullen really shouted when Bella saw him sparkle for the first time: "Believe it!"

Cupcakes as breasts: Gives cupcake cakes a whole new meaning.

2009-09-11T18:08:01Z

Finally, a post which (sort of) alls for the laser cock.

Recently, there was wank involving Ravenous Romance. Being an, ahem, big fan, I decided to risk e-mail spam to get a copy of their current free short story, Handsome and Petal.

We begin with a fundamental question posed by the protagonist: "Could a simple male experience such superhuman sex without losing his marbles?"

(Warning: There is a Jesus joke in here. An "I Am Going To Hell" Jesus joke.)

I have to start off by saying I am slightly conflicted in mocking this. It does involve a plus-size protagonist as sexy, which I am very much in favor of. But given the metaphors (and situation) are themselves rather...out-sized, I cannot help but point and snark.

Brody the construction worker is attracted to Lily the pastry chef, a situation which allows for an excess of saccharine sweets metaphors.

Involving penises.

"Brody never considered dating a woman who didn’t slink through life in Size 2 dresses. He’d also never been in love; but when Lily filled a cannoli shell with creamy chocolate filling, wrapped it seductively in wax paper, and snuck it across the counter, on the house, he was smitten. His little petal’s name might mean purity, but the image of her beautiful, pudgy hand around the phallic dessert filled Brody’s head—and pants—with impure thoughts."

Lily's apartment:

"She bid him to enter. A vibrant wash of color greeted Brody’s eyes. Walls of butternut squash complimented by cranberry curtains, with a ruby-red footed candy bowl filled with gumdrops on an elegant walnut credenza. The sofa was overstuffed, like a marshmallow. Everything in the charming apartment was a visual treat, good enough to eat. The air was sweet like sugar cookies."

I think I just got a cavity. He also calls her Petal the entire story. Because, you see, her name is Lily, and...oh, fuck it. It and the dialog are absolutely idiotic and saccharine, even with the faux-fairy tale tone the author is going for.

“Lily, my Petal,” Brody said.

She caressed his cheek, which showed a wonderfully scruffy layer of five o’clock shadow.

“Yes, Handsome?”

“You’re more beautiful than a plate of homemade brownies, hotter than hot fudge, more
sinful than cinnamon.” Lily blushed. His cock ached in response to the redness on her cheeks.
Brody imagined similar color rising on other destinations across her gloriously sexy plus-size
form."

And now, it's time for sex. Food sex. Involving what else but shipped cream? (Once, just once, I want to see a man's "meat" covered in A1 sauce.)

Lily drew a whipped cream heart over the hairy muscles of his chest and slowly licked him clean. Brody was aware of every pass of Lily’s tongue. When a lock of her long golden hair fell across his neck, he seized in place on her bed. As he watched her movements, feeling like he was floating on a giant cake, she raised a candy cane to her plump lips and teasingly performed oral sex on it. Then Lily hooked the cane around Brody’s straining cock and pulled his thickness into her
mouth.

Y'see, the really fun part about this is that as a kid, every Christmas I was told the story of how the candy cane symbolizes Jesus. I can't wait for my Sunday School teachers to add the part about how "the hard end of the cane symbolizes Jesus's erect penis, ready to be fellatiated, then perform frottage."

Lily’s nipples were taut rosy gumdrops, capping creamy peaks. Brody pinched one while gently chewing on the other.

Other things this story makes me think of: Candyland! I'm sure you missed out on that part of the Gumdrop Mountains as a kid. there's more with the damn candy cane and her stomach, which is "pale and beautiful, like angel’s food cake." And then there's this:

“I love candy canes,” he chuckled, his warm breath gusting over the sensitive folds of Lily’s pussy. But Brody loved honey even more and, after spreading Lily’s petals, he found her wet with a woman’s natural sweetness.

Reader, I threw up in my mouth a little.

So then he, as they say colloquially "fucks her tits," which is mercifully not described in lascivious detail. Later on, Brody (aka Handsome) is out being a manly man playing hockey (OT: This morning I awoke from a dream involving a ferret playing hockey and fighting hockey thugs. It was oddly calming, mainly because I think the ferret was also an award-winning author.) when Lily shows up.

Lily carried a platter of cupcakes with pink
frosting and candied cherries on top that reminded him of her breasts, worsening the discomfort of his hockey uniform. Little candy canes and other Christmas candies decorated the spaces between pastries, along with a garnish of silk poinsettia blossoms.

My goodness, how will this man make it through the Wal-Mart bakery section? Will he have to stop and go to the bathroom to "relieve" himself?

I guess so, because the next morning he masturbates while she describes a recipe. And then they have sex and we find out she's been selected for the "Yum Network’s big holiday competition show, ‘Dessert Triathlon.’" This is all uninteresting, except for this part:

Brody joined her on the floor, licked her sopping pussy, and rolled another skin over his cock. Even Lily’s brand of condoms was sweetly flavored. Brody assumed by its purple tint this one was grape.

Lily may be sweet, but I don't think she wants a yeast infection. Way to go, Brody!

And then they go to New York for the competition. Of course, the pro cook is an asshole who wants to fuck Bordy. Boo-ring, except for this bit:

Take away the meanness, the ugly internal toxins leaching through her pores and surrounding her in a dark cloud, and Corinne Zahn might have appeared stunning. But in that pose, and having gleaned some of what she said to Lily, she reminded Brody of a stone gargoyle leering down from an ancient European rooftop. Adding to the imagery, Brody retained enough from his two years of high school German to remember that her last name meant ‘tooth’.

When some asshole hits on your partner, just remember your high school language course. Their last name probably means they're an asshole. Which leads this snappy dialog:

“Oh, fuck her,” Lily pouted.

Brody, standing at the door to the hotel suite’s bathroom dressed only in a towel following his long, hot shower, said, “Not with a borrowed dick. I bet her snatch has teeth.”

“Fuck me, then?”

Oh, snap! And then we discover:

Lily tossed back the top sheet, revealing cherry gumdrops stacked over each nipple and leading in a line down the center of her chest to the bright red dollop of butter cream frosting piped in the shape of rose petals around her clit.

How the fuck did she do that by herself? No matter because Professional Asshole is in the other room getting off on violent revenge fantasies:

Rubbing her clit in clockwise circles, Corinne fantasized about him denouncing the little piggy, devouring Corinne’s pussy and declaring it sweet while calling Lily’s as sour as salty pickles.

“Salt,” Corinne hissed aloud.

"But Dick kept eating the pickle!"

The competition continues, Professional Asshole is an Asshole, and I don't really care. Until the author describes how Brody "[lifts] her off the chubby turnips of her ankles." So, ankles are vegetables. Okay!

At the end Brody hits Professional Asshole on the ass with a pan, saving the day!

And they all live "handsomely ever after." (No, really.)

Cat's On A Boat!

2009-09-06T16:59:37Z

Last Weekend, in movies:
- Cutie Honey
- Bullitt
- Citizen Kane
- Xanada

Boarding the SS Kittybutt. (Other painfully adorable names I call Cat [with optional baby voice] include but are not limited to Kitty, Kiddo, Furry One, and Little One.)

My first attempt at simple ongiri.

Beer + Ongiri = good. Sadly, I did not have any Guinness to break in my new Guinness glasses, but I shall fix this when it is not Sunday in the South. But it should be noted most of my Sundays boil down to NPR podcasts + beer + nap on couch after I get off work.

Ways to tell if I will bookmark something in Delicious:
- Is it about food? More specifically, is it about beer?
- Does it involve globalization?
- Does it involve Asia?
- Does it involve comics or animation (in China)?

Then I've probably bookmarked it. (Sadly, there are no Chinese comics/animation involving the globalization of beer in Asia. But one can hope!)

Every time Mark Zhao yells, "警察!," I giggle.

2009-09-04T22:45:02Z

So, I may be the only person left who's still working on 疲子英雄。 It's not exactly good, but it's gotten plenty Tropperiffic, a They Fight Crime with Triang Relations and a decent Conspiracy Kitchen Sink full of Super Soldiers at the middle. (A conspiracy, it should be noted, named after french president Sarkozy.)警察

I do love that 疲子英雄 managed to combine the classic soap opera tropes "Magic Plastic Surgery," "Incest is Relative," and "It's Personal" all in one character and still make him likable instead of annoyingly simpering. Which is a testament to Vic Zhou's acting skills, given he plays the worst Wingman ever when Mark Zhao's on screen being angry.

Which, it happens, is most of every episode. I like Mark Zhao as an actor, but his depth is largely limited to "HELLO I AM YING XIONG. MY NAME IS UNIRONICALLY PROPHETIC. I AM A SIMMERING BALL OF FLAMING JUSTICE WHO IS CAN'T KEEP HIS BIG MOUTH SHUT. YOU MAY HAVE SEEN ME IN EVERY BUDDY COP MOVIE EVER. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I NEED TO GO SIMMER."

Except when you put him on screen with Ivy Chen, at which point he remembers how to act and have chemistry.

I may be looking forward to the hot sex scene.

Ah, conglomerates. The American Way.

2009-08-31T13:16:21Z

In "News I Did Not Expect to Hear," Disney is buying out Marvel Entertainment.

Mickey + Spiderman = Profit??? I may lack a magic 8 ball, but I sense that the answer is "Ask again later."

Never an Excuse

2009-08-18T03:17:36Z

So, it was brought to my attention that Tony Bedard has seen my post on the Great Ten and responded.

(If it wasn't clear: I am a white American, born and raised in the US.)

"I find your disdain for "cultural poaching" a bit silly. Borrowing from other cultures is what America was built on.

Ah yes, "our poaching is okay because we built our culture on poaching." It is in fact the American Way for the dominant culture to indiscriminately take from others for its own gain, and only remember to belatedly apologize long after the offense has entered the history books.

Just because something has always been done one way does not mean it should not be changed if it furthers a disproportionate power dynamic. And the Great Ten and its ilk most definitely do so by relying on "Eastern Orient" and 'yellow peril' stereotypes.

You can impugn "English-Chinese" food all you want. I think it's delicious.

It should be noted the "English-Chinese food" is a direct quote from Coco Wang, who is far more of an authority than I, as both a native of the mainland and a Chinese creator. It appears this quote is unclear, however, and I shall edit it to make it so. But this fact does not negate that for all English-Chinese food is delicious to an American, is it not the food of the people of mainland China. It is not Coco Wang's food--it is a Westerner's dish.

Of course THE GREAT TEN is "by Westerners and for Westerners." I've never thought it was anything else.

And stop. Right here. Because this is key. A series about heroes who were, according to DC, meant as part of an effort to increase diversity, is really for the West. Diversity is not about the disempowered, is it about us (And yes, I am in this case most decidedly an 'us.'). They and their culture exist to entertain us.

That doesn't mean it can't be a fun read, and if it sparks any interest in China, or a little more respect for their culture, history and accomplishments, then great. I know my own respect for Eastern culture is genuine, but feel free to doubt it all you want.

If it sparks interest, it will almost certainly be an interest which furthers the same mistaken notions which already drive the industry which deprives Chinese creators of their own unique voices. Fans say they see McDaniel's art is seen as having "sort of a manga spin," as if all Asian comics look the same. Mainland Chinese and Hong Kong artists don't have any established comic art styles or anything.

Did the Chinese really wonder why they didn't make KUNG FU PANDA? Seriously? That's hilarious. I mean, that movie never struck me as authentically Chinese, but I enjoyed it anyway.

As did I. Kung Fu Panda was a smart, well-done film which reached a broad cross-section of the age range. The filmmakers had clearly done their homework regarding the Shaw Brothers' pictures as pop culture artifacts. However, this is immaterial to the issue of appropriation. Quality works can and frequently do appropriate.

Most importantly, the Shaw Brothers chose to selectively draw from their culture. They chose the elements to emphasize to sell movies. The American creative team behind Kung Fu Panda, in comparison, were the "outsider [who] sees and appreciates things in a way that the native doesn’t," as producer Kevin Gelder (who is currently working with Beijing animation studio Magic Dumpling) said, and profited from their innovative re-purposing of the Shaws' American-ready material.

However, Gelder also notes that, "at other times the native has an understanding that the outsider can never hope to achieve. To my mind, the best results come from a marriage of the two." It is this meeting of which will produce authentic Chinese voices--a meeting the government now aims to foster, however misguided their methods for achieving it. What a pity if we were never able to hear them.

Also, though as the Onion proved, the Chinese government's idiosyncrasies (and there are many) are ripe for mockery, humor at the fact mainland creators find themselves held captive by both their own government and the market forces of the Western-driven Post-Production Economy is at best terribly insensitive and at worst baldly arrogant.

"for a culture to have a voice at all, its works must speak to the issues important to the culture’s consumers." I leave that to some genius in China or Taiwan. The consumers of THE GREAT TEN will be overwhelmingly American and British."

It's easy to buck pass and question the impact of a single work. After all, it's not for Them. When They entertain Us, We are the benefactors. Why does it matter when They won't know?

It matters because We will never expect anything different. "Some genius[es] in China or Taiwan" frequently create comics that are worth critical attention or consideration, but We will likely never be given a chance to read these comics, works like Coco Wang's tuwen book (which she translated and published in a blog) or interesting and unique works like Tibetan Rock Dog.

We want the same stories We have been told first by the Shaws, who knew the magic formula to sell to Us, and then by Westerners like Us who blindly turn candy consumption into theft of the recipe. It becomes a vicious cycle whose sole consideration is the appetites of the thieves.

The makeup of one's readership is never an excuse for ignorance, arrogance, or carelessness.

Without Spice: Appropriation's Impact

2009-08-15T18:14:31Z

Without meaning to, this post basically became a long-form essay on Western cultural appropriation of Eastern Asia sphere cultures in American comics, the nature of costumed superheroes as a media commodity, and why exactly I hate the Great Ten and what they represent.

That Grant Morrison is a Westerner who poaches East Asian cultures isn't exactly news. He's been at since at least the Invisibles, but got a lot more blatant (if that's even possible) with the Great Ten, a Chinese superteam, and the Super Young Team, his Japanese superteam.

Out of the two, the Great Ten has, post-introduction, generally avoided much notice by basically being non-existent in the DCU outside of its status as a Wacky Grant Morrison Creation. But now that they're getting a 10-issue limited series, such obscurity is no longer possible.

First off, before I go any further, let me make something absolutely clear: Zen is not Chinese. Zen is Japanese. However, Chan Buddhism, the school from which Zen originates, is a distinctly Chinese creation. But given the obvious reference, the need for a clever headline clearly outweighed actual accuracy in an interview wherein the interviewee spends a lot of time burnishing his Eastern religion cred.

Furthermore, despite all inclinations to cleverness, naming something "Zen and the Art Of XYZ" is no longer clever, much less creative. It ceased being clever after the concept got hopelessly muddled in Robert Pirsig's half-baked treatise Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

To the actual meat of this post, I must be fair to Tony Bedard. He's a good writer. Objectively, I've generally liked his work.

But I'm not concerned with the eventual quality of the comic which is printed. I'm sure, technically, it will be a good comic. This is about Western writers and cultural poaching, a consideration which exists wholly independent of a comic's quality.

And again, in the interest of fairness, the Great Ten are not Bedard's creation. They are a Morrison work which Bedard was handed and told to make work. Only so much can be done to the nature of a beast before it bites one in the ass. But in the meantime, I'm not reassured. It's great back in the day Bedard read a lot of D.T. Suzuki and his ilk. So did I. I also read crap like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which I have quite happily not touched in six years for a reason.

However, I wouldn't consider this by any means a window into religion or a culture. The average Western perspective (and so far, everything Bedard has expressed that he has, at best a average and dated [circa 1970s/80s] perspective) misses China's varied and dynamic history. For the West, there's "Ancient China," "Some Shit Happened," and "Mao's Cultural Revolution." Rising, or Modern, China to them is one step away from an immediate Communist crackdown.

Yet that's far from true. I shall skip the history lesson but instead quote from Charles Horner's upcoming book, Rising China and Its Postmodern Fate,

Rising China may very well contemplate a traditional national strategy of traditional expansionism supported by equally traditional nationalism and patriotism. But will this, too, is now coming up against the emerging Postmodern High Culture, whose mission for Cultural Studies is the “deconstruction” of culture as a mainstay of the political order in China and throughout the world. This emerging High Culture is wholly unlike the high culture of previous rising nations in great ages of imperialism; it seeks not to buttress great national projects but to undermine them.

As I have not yet read Horner's book, I cannot say wherein this High Culture he situates the Internet as a cause for China's difference, but my suspicion is it plays a noticeable role. Not that such realities exist for Morrison's heroes in Bedard's situation.

In fact, not much of China period exists in Morrison's heroes. The superficial stylization is cribbed quite creatively by J.G. Jones, but Morrison fails to grasp the names. In English translation, Chinese wuxia character names can appear nonsensical, yet make perfect sense in Chinese--though no one would probably name their child, say, 絕無神 (roughly translated as "Godless").

But August General in Iron? What hanzi would make up this name? What are their contextual meanings? Did Grant Morrison just pull it out of his Western ass? Probably. When we do get character renderings, they're not exactly stellar.

A) I have no idea what the first character is, and the second is definitely not the common rendering of "doctor." 医 does denote relation to the medical practice, but every definition of doctor I've found uses 生, not 者. B) I am trying very hard to forgive Scott McDaniel because I know his style is very angular, but his rendering of the hanzi recall so many bad memories of "chop-socky" font my insides cringe.

Moving beyond these surface aspects, one has to consider if China would even produce these heroes. The answer of which is a resounding, "No." Returning to the Horner quote, the China of today is one in which the government has ultimately failed to remain in control of the nation's Culture, never fully stopping importation from other nearby cultures, most often Japan and Taiwan. When it comes to costumed superheroes, children are more likely to be inspired by Ultraman and other henshin heroes, despite the government's attempts to quash the show.

At a press conference for his drama Pandamen, Taiwanese pop star Jay Chou declared (rather patriotically, a quirk Chou is known for), "We have seen such Western superheroes as Spiderman and Batman, but Chinese people need their own heroes, and that will be the pandamen." But his Pandamen look less like one of the spandex-clad Western heroes he references and more like one of Shotaro Ishinomori's Showa-era Kamen Riders.

And it's impossible to miss the influence of henshin heroes on 铠甲勇士 (Armor Hero)—it even has the required bevy of toys. Like Thai production Sport Ranger, superheroes in the East Asian cultural sphere are far more likely to resemble localized versions of the Japanese shows which have been imported for decades as opposed to the Western powerhouses.*

Yet because Western, most often American, culture is the world’s dominant default, Westerners frequently fail to notice their works have any culture at all (and thus a barrier to their importation to other cultures). Only when Western works use a non-Western culture does the contrast become apparent. However, for a culture to have a voice at all, its works must speak to the issues important to the culture’s consumers. DC’s Great Ten can never hope to achieve this, for it is a uniquely Western product dressed in the tacky red and gold trappings of haphazard American appropriation—by Westerners and for Westerners.

This aforementioned appropriation becomes even more apparent when one considers how Chinese creators mold their own work to fit Western tastes. According to Chinese artist Coco Wang, the native Chinese market has never been profitable for media companies compared to the Western export market. Yet when the Chinese export media products, Wang notes, artists and companies use only “the Chinese elements that the Westerners would be interested in instead of what we truly want to do”—that is, the image of China imported from the 70s Shaw Brothers movies: dragons, kung fu, Journey to the West, etc. “It’s like English-Chinese food, take away the spices and add sweet-sour flavour.” Through their dollars, Westerners force their appropriative interests and tastes on a country which is finding its voice.

Furthermore, China is becoming a ‘Big Post-Production System,’ where artists can only afford to do work-for-hire, most often from French writers/creators. This leaves Chinese artists to, according to Wang,

“see the designed characters sent to us, not knowing the process of creation behind these characters and stories, therefore not understanding the essence of the story. We keep scratching the skin, memorising the forms and shapes of these designs, and imitating with a vague understanding.”

After Kung Fu Panda came out, the question from Chinese artists and officials was, "why didn't we make this film?" The answer awakened the Chinese government to how their control on Culture ultimately ended up stifling the nation’s creativity and its voice. Now, China is making a concerted effort to encourage local productions. But these Chinese films and their Chinese heroes will draw on the China in which the Chinese people of today live, work, and imagine.

Not the China Westerners imagine the country to be.

*One of the great ironies here is the sentai/Power Rangers crossover. Originally, Power Rangers worked because it could be washed out of all cultural context, thus Americanizing it (i.e. compared to the Japanese product, the American product must have no culture, and thus it has American culture). Yet ultimately, I think Power Rangers was doomed to failure because by its very nature it could not be universally Americanized. In superheroes Americans have certain expectations for a permanent personality, the evolution of which the consumer experiences vicariously. Yet PR’s heroes couldn’t speak to anything besides general values of teamwork, cooperation, and a belief in the general good—values the Japanese emphasize in both henshin heroes and shounen manga ad infinitum, with small variations depending on the medium and media product.

Books of the Times

2009-08-14T09:37:18Z

This book, Searching for Whitopia: How the Whiter Half Lives, sounds absolutely fascinating. I'm curious to see if he looked at if the places he went were once (or still are) considered "sundown towns."

I'm also interested to see his argument that "the small government movement has always had racial components, beginning with white flight from central cities and public schools in the 1960's -- and a great deal of this is based on fear"--and then see if it would hold up against white Southern minds.

And in Authors Not Of the Time, SF author John C. Wright gets his crazy on, then when faced with overwhelming internet derision, declares, "Even though we are on opposite sides, I assure you that the real division in the world is not between Right and Left, not between Homophobes and Pervertarians, but between men of reason and good will, we men of the mind, and our mutual foes, the men of unreason, the men of mere emotion."

Also, anger at his opinions is is in actuality all about others' collective daddy/mommy complex, for "Those folks are all mad at their fathers or something, and wanted to say to me hateful things they never got a chance to say to the people they are really mad at."

Of all the things I'd like to say to my parents (and there's a lot), that some guy on the internet is an ass is not one of them.

UPDATE: Aaaaannnndddd he's back! Some choice quotes:

"If the incest is consensual, between adults, and sterile (so that there are no birth defects) on what ground can it be called illicit while homosexuality is called licit?"

I WONDER.

"Those of you who argued that sex with a sterile woman is the same as homosexual acts: this is both irrelevant and false. You are conflating the sex act with mere stimulation of the sexual organs."

Sterile people don't have sex, they are...stimulated. By...sex? Puppies? Dildos? Unicorn farts? I dunno!

Sure, I'll believe in Jesus if he gives me superpowers.

2009-08-10T08:31:25Z

One of the great "advantages" of my job is the fact I get paid to watch infomercials at 3 a.m.

Right now, we're on CCN, whose ineptness at selling you pointy, deadly implements borders on farcical. While HSN has the zoom-in voice-over down, CCN spends large passages zoomed out from the product piled on a table while the host rambles in concentrated Shatner-esque bursts just off-stage, audibly digging around in a cardboard box. He regularly forgets the prices to his own items, then announces blithely, "Why, I've never actually seen this before!"

Yesterday morning was Final Events of Biblical Prophecy, whose high school play theatrics, when combined with the budget of Bibleman, produce such important lessons as, "Rapture will give you superpowers and let you breathe in space!" and "Heaven is seeing everything through a drunken haze."

The Continuing Adventures of Cat and Me

2009-08-07T04:42:09Z

Cat: *rubs against leg and makes noise*
Me: Why Kitty make noise? Why does Kitty go *attempts to imitate noise, sounds like engine filled with mucus failing to turn over*?"
Cat: *ignores and purrs, demanding more pettings*

-

Me: *begins writing in "Positive Personal Statement of the Day Journal" So Cat, what do you think about today's statement being "My cat loves me"?
Cat: *meow of "Whatever."*
Me: *puts down "I learn from my mistakes."*

And, meme: Leave me a comment and I will reply with why I like you. If I don't know you, I'll either make something up or tell you why I like your LJ/DW. You must pay for the privilege by posting a message like this one on your LJ/DW.

I feel like I need a Wet Wipe RIGHT NOW.

2009-07-28T20:26:22Z

Reason #842 why "Strike Witches" is creepy fanboy lolicon moe pandering: The second issue of Kadokawa Shoten's Nyantype magazine will offer a limited Strike Witches Pants Ja Nai Kubi Makura (Strike Witches They're-Not-Underpants Neck Pillow) to its readers on Thursday.

Yes. It is a young girl's crotch, which you wear around your neck.

"Astro Boy is kind of a cartoon character that exists everywhere else but America."

2009-07-25T13:32:34Z

*garglefargleteethgnash*

Kristen Bell, you have not reassured me that Astro Boy is not going to be American drek.

You have merely made my worries worse.

Today just became fucking awesome.

2009-07-24T14:27:33Z

NEW GARO 3-D MOVIE FUCK YES!

THE CAPSLOCK WILL CEASE WHEN THE SMILE LEAVES MY FACE which is never!

Mmm, male glaze.

2009-07-23T22:10:24Z

- Apparently, Local Apartment Complex is taking lessons from Evony's advertising team.

Of course, the last ad doesn't even bother having any information about the apartment complex at all.

- New Ping Your Spaceman post on Tampax's problematic "man with a vagina" ad campaign.

- I keep finding and purchasing Avatar: The Last Airbender DVDs on $3 clearance, all the while still having a huge existing show backlog already. And this is not counting the fact Avatar is a gamble for me, because I wasn't won over by the first few bits I saw, though it tried very, very hard.

I shall commit myself to getting at least half of S&A's last season done tonight if I can stave the guilt off long enough.

I will translate your trash into cash.

2009-07-13T03:17:59Z

One of the great advantages to living surrounded by people with more money than you is that their garbage tends to be full of perfectly working items. So far I have acquired one fabulous office chair, one ironing board, one stand-up fan for the paper office, two nice chairs that just needed a little hammering, and one working minifridge to be sold to the highest bidding freshman.

However, our garbage also comes with many feral stray cats about which nothing can be done (people have tried many times). And today there was a Fail-y WTF addition:

Yes, that is in fact a 5 by 4 foot mounted photo of a guy laying outside a fridge with his throat slit. I don't even know.

And to end on a good note: Ingenious if stereotypically Southern fail, found in a junkyard outside Anniston, Ala.

No, Bibleman, not LLLLLEEEEEENNNNNSSSSSFFFLLLLAAAARRREEEEE!

2009-07-11T03:59:34Z

I feel the universe should know that I have Opinions on Bibleman, and this scares me. Given that I *avoided* my Statement of Purpose just so I could watch Bibleman, this is doubly worrying.

Background to explain this chat: Due to inadvertent if hilarious mental scarring that is All My Fault, I agreed from the kindness of my heart (and because I am a sap) to bake katarik a cake. However, with me a gift is not just a gift. It is a joke waiting to happen.

So this thread may have been...inspiring. She can just be thankful at the time I didn't think to look for Kiss Play fanart.

arionhunter: After all, I sill have to make your cake
katarik: ... sans megatron/starscream, right?
arionhunter: I have said nothing indicating any position on this!
Though I point out that my statement last night could be seen as...prophetic.
katarik: could be seen, ha.
arionhunter: Are you really that concerned about the possibility?
katarik: ... i am actually more concerned that you would buy me toys and arrange them in obscene positions.
arionhunter: Which is a brilliant idea that has passed my mind! But you would be complaining, why, exactly?
katarik: i don't want to slash the giant robots!
arionhunter: But you do!
katarik: LA LA LA YOU HAVE NO PROOF.
arionhunter: DO NOT DOUBT MY ABILITIES
katarik: YOU HAVE NO PROOF, NONE AT ALL.
arionhunter: So...if I found you fic, you would have no reaction to it?
katarik: i might mock?
arionhunter: Why?
katarik: dude, i know badfic. starscream would cry. megatron would confess love.
arionhunter: You assume it would be badfic!
katarik: when do you *ever* intentionally find me goodfic?
you found me pretender goodfic *once*, and you hadn't even meant to.
arionhunter: http://community.livejournal.com/transficsation/467406.html
There's even an entire community : http://community.livejournal.com/megascream/
katarik: oh, dear.
arionhunter: How have you not yet learned that you do not challenge me?
katarik: i didn't challenge you! i said nothing about you not being able to find it!
whoa, hey, that first link has, like, meta.
i kind of approve.
arionhunter: And you *Scoffed*
katarik: i wasn't expecting goodfic! okay, so it's only the prologue, but.
arionhunter: For that, that might just *earn* you gay robot sex on your cake
katarik: gee, however can i deserve such a reward?
arionhunter: ...are you really, honestly, complaining about having good artistic depictions of sex on a cake?
katarik: dude. they're giant robots. how erotic are you really expecting fanart to be?
you have seen g1's art style, right?
arionhunter: ...oh, your innocent, naive, pure mind.
I shall have to sully it.
katarik: i didn't say people wouldn't draw porn!
i just asked how sure you were that it would be *good*.
i mean, come on, this is starscream: http://media.photobucket.com/image/starscream/gposkas/starscream.jpg
arionhunter: Have something...tame: http://piyo119.deviantart.com/art/Starscream-and-Megatron-69209077
Or you can go for less-tame: http://plotsntombstones.com/TFcomics/confess11.gif
katarik: the first one has the proportions off. the second one... um. i don't think transformers interface that way.
arionhunter: Sex Rule #447: Robots can do anything. Anything
And you're just being pedantic because you know I 'm right.
katarik: i fail to find the second picture erotic, and the first one isn't porn, so there.
arionhunter: Well, it's not surprising that you don't. I'm just pointing out it exists
And that isn't not bad.
katarik: oh, sweetheart, i knew it *existed*.
it's just that you promised me *good* transformers drawn porn, and i called you on it.
arionhunter: You are making your standards of good impossible to meet, so you don't have to be faced with it
katarik: the odds of someone drawing *giant robots having sex* in a fashion i would find erotic are slim, it's true.
arionhunter: Otherwise, I want you to find me a visual standard against which to measure any possible TF artporn I might find. Since to define good, you need an *example*
arionhunter: I shall eagerly await your example
katarik: i don't have an example of giant robots having sex in a way i would find erotic, honey, i have to tell you.
arionhunter: So, you cannot define *good* porn!
katarik: for *giant robots*? is there any?
arionhunter: Thus, whatever I find must be defined by my standard
katarik: or i could ask the girlfriends, who ship.
arionhunter: You could!
Though that would involve explaining about how you're getting a cake with gay robot sex on it
katarik: ... you do realize i share these conversations.
arionhunter: Well, you don't share *all* of them!
katarik: honey. i just read your threat to kat.
arionhunter: Reaction?
katarik: she laughed.
arionhunter: A good sign!

In other news, Russia reconsiders its restraining order against Sarah "Peeping Tom" Palin.

2009-07-03T22:12:46Z

Sarah Palin announces her resignation as Alaska governor. (Full transcript.)

Need a hand, Sarah? That cross won't nail you to it itself!