So, it usually takes a miracle for me to finish fanfiction.

Except when I'm talking to grey_bard about a certain (In)Famous Vampire Author OT3. And five hours later I've pumped out AU RPF.

LKH wasn’t sure how they had actually gotten in the cell. They were following up on reports of a violent vampire nest slowly taking out the town’s homeless population, and then...blackout. When she came to, they were trapped in this poorly-lit cell, locked with complex empathic magic.

“That’s not going to work.”

“It may. Destiny has a plan for us,” SM said, firing off another burst of nervously dancing magic sparkles. She would sound brave. She could be brave.

“SM, please try to be reasonable. We’ve discussed this, and only LKH is trained in the proper magics to break the lock spell,” AR said, then returned her attention to the rosary in her hand.

LKH was twitchy, insecure. It had been an hour. An hour without and she was starving, her ardeur sucking in any residual power it sensed. Therapists called it an addiction; she liked to think of it as a magical talent. “We shouldn’t hold off on the replenishment ceremony much longer, or we may need to perform it several times until I’m strong enough to break open the door.”

“Several times?” SM could feel her voice rising in panic.

Pacing was bad, LKH strained to remind herself. “SM. Please. The longer we wait, the more energy I’ll require.”

“LKH, I would, but I—,” SM stopped, looked off into the empty black distance. “You have to understand. There is a love out there, waiting for me. Living just for me. How could I betray them now? I would be forever sullied. I want to be dazzled by love.”

LKH sighed, rubbing her temples. “Only when you’ve had a threesome with a hyena submissive who’s into masochism can you call yourself sullied,” she grumbled under her breath, but she knew AR had heard her when the older woman frowned in her direction.

AR put her rosary back into her pocket. “Regardless, we can’t get out of here without LKH, and she needs to replenish her magic before we continue.” She turned to look at SM. “Is there any way at all we can make this easier on you?”

“Well, would I retain my virginity if it was psychic?”

“Possibly?” AR tried to keep the guilt from her face. She felt terrible, taking something that was so precious to SM. “The strong emotions can be very sensual. Auras—”

“I don’t think it’s going to be enough,” LKH said. “It has to be physical. Otherwise, I can’t focus myself properly.”

SM opened her mouth to speak, but shut it abruptly. No crying. There would be no crying. She rubbed at her eyes furiously then spoke in a tremulous voice, “We’ll have to get married, then.”

AR bit her lower lip. How would she explain this to the priest later?

LKH looked away. She would almost take the hyena over this.
---
Officially, they weren’t married. Holy Astral Plane marriages lasted only as long as all the participants were in agreement to remain coupled, according to AR. But it really didn’t matter when they finally got SM down on the floor.

There were glorious exploding sensations; a sharp pain shot through SM’s neck, the sensation of teeth cutting into her skin and sending scintillas of pleasure throughout her nervous system. Stars and sparkles suffused SM’s vision and she threw her head back with the grace of a dying swan, keening its last in one luscious trumpet. Gold suffused her vision as flowing tendrils of emotion wrapped themselves softly around her heart.

“Oh, God…”
---
LKH drew the last few strands of energy back into her core, closing off her connection to the lock with a clap. “We can leave whenever we’re ready.”

SM gave LKH a beatific smile, eyes sparkling in the cell’s relative darkness. “I have had a vision.”

AR ignored SM in favor of staring blankly at the floor, her voice a continuous stream of Hail Marys.

“He spoke to me. Though I worried, He assured me that our marriage is a divinely ordained bonding of souls. We are reincarnated beings connected throughout space time. Our love expands to all we touch, a blessed covenant of souls,” SM opened her arms wide. “Can you not feel the love?”

LKH fell back against the doorframe and slid to the floor. She needed one. Just one. She rummaged around in her bag and pulled out a package of cookies. Blood dribbled down her chin as she bit into the first one. “I will never complain about hyenas again.”